Category: Control

But They Like It When I Tell Them What To Do!

December 5, 2008 by mcottmeyer

Okay… I am unexpectedly out on a client site this week and I have not had time to think, let alone write, let alone write anything interesting or worth reading. So, in lieu of a writing a meaty blog post, I am going to tell you guys a little story.

Earlier today I was talking with a traditional project manager trying to get her head around what it will mean to make the switch to agile. Keep in mind, I have been on this client's site the past two days. We have been breaking down traditional notions of requirements, engineering practices, quality assurance, organizational structure, and team structure. We have discussed self-organization, empowerment, and individual accountability.

As we were wrapping up this afternoon I could see that this lady was struggling. This transition was really going to impact her job and force her to reevaluate her management style and approach to project leadership. We talked briefly again about the idea of empowerment and self-organization and how she was going to have to learn to let go.

She turned to me and said… but Mike… they like it when I tell them what to do.

Scream Free Project Management

October 10, 2008 by mcottmeyer

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to read a book by Hal Edward Runkel called Scream Free Parenting. The title is a little misleading because the book is not really about screaming and the lessons Hal teaches go beyond just parenting. The book is about controlling your anxiety so you can build healthy relationships.

The key idea of the book is that anxiety is at the root of much our conflict. Think about it… we want better behavior from our kids, we are not getting it, and not getting that desired behavior stresses us out. When we yell at our children, we are really saying "I want to be calm, you are not allowing me to be calm, I demand you change your behavior so I can be calm".